It sounds completely absurd, doesn’t it? Believe it or not, in some cases, it is completely true. At first, when the person gets diagnosed with any kind of voice problems, they become devastated, then frustrated; after that, depressed and then, believe it or not, they get used to it and, in some cases, they truly embrace it.
They have no other choice, you may exclaim!
Yes, partially you are right, my reader. They have to embrace it and get into balance to be able to deal with their voice issues accordingly and promptly. However, a lot of people, after conducting a short search, give up on getting better and soon give up on even claiming their life back. Moreover, they discover support groups where they get “support”, but not how to fix their voice problem, but how to learn to live with it; and yes, “love” it.
So now, they are caught in a catch 22 situation, so to speak.
They have found, so called support, from group members.
They also seem to have found emotional support from their family members and friends. Everybody is feeling sorry for them and expressing their sympathy. And before they know it, they, very quickly, get use to it. Then, sometime down the road, they discover the real help, which could actually suggest and lead them, in majority of cases, to the full recovery of their normal, or even better voice then they originally owned.
And then, believe it or not, instead of getting excited, they are getting scared. . ?
Of what, you may ask?
The answer is; they are afraid of taking action towards becoming better and conquering their voice issues.
Because once they are back to normal, they might lose the attention of those who originally were expressing their sympathy and feeling sorry for them. They got use to it and they do not want to lose it.
Having a voice disorder, they feel, somewhat “special” and expect special treatment by the people surrounding them.
I am just going to give you one example from my 40+ years of practice dealing with all sorts of people with and without vocal disorders, issues or problems.
About a couple of years ago, a young girl of 26 years of age, walked into my studio/clinic with a horrible voice disorder known as muscle tension dysphonia. She hardly could speak and told me in despair that she used to be a medical assistant for ophthalmologists. When she lost her voice due to her very erratic behavior, (smoking, drinking, drugs and loud late night parties), she was let go from her position, as she could no longer communicate with the clients.
At that point, she was collecting employment insurance.
Nevertheless, I offered a huge discount for my non-surgical voice repair program, consisting of psychological counseling, diet and nutrition counseling, my unique voice instruction coupled with certain body movements which help to lift the voice off of the injured area (the neck muscles and the vocal box); and lastly, natural herbal and homeopathic treatments to heal the throat flora by also removing all of the impurities (like acid and mucus) from the bottom of the throat.
After I explained to her all of this, which took about 2 hours, she left with no charge from my side and with tears in her eyes and promise that she will be back as soon as possible to take me up on my generous offer.
Sometime after, she called a couple of times, arranged appointments and payment schedules, and never showed up once. Eventually, after about a year and a half from our initial meeting, she called again and now said that she is definitely coming to pay me and pick up a set of herbs so she could start her instruction and treatment with me almost right away.
She showed up a couple of times; each time late for at least an hour or longer.
She did half of the instruction, as she always had to go somewhere; and also she was, according to her, feeling tired. Out of 10 hours she arranged with me, she took only a maximum of 6 hours in total, which she had stretched for over a year period of time and canceled her appointments with me, at least 10 times in the process.
Then she disappeared for another year and, as usual, being apologetic and blaming herself, she almost “swore on the bible” that this time around, she would finish her remaining hours, as she wanted to go back to work. (All this time, she was collecting government assistance and gotten used to staying up late and getting up at 3:00PM).
Nevertheless, by now, she was loving it all the way.
However, (not being stupid, by far), she intellectually knew that it was all wrong and she should get better and get back to her normal life. She also kept confirming that I was her one and only vehicle to bring her to victory.
By now, it is shooting close to 3 years from the beginning of this ordeal.
She contacted me at the beginning of this year again and promised to restart the program with me no later then, now, past April/May.
Ever since then, I have not heard from her for about 8 or 9 months.
She is in her late 20s by now and, as far as I am concerned, her young life is ruined. She fell in love with her present lifestyle on a physical and psychological level and constantly fighting with her intellectual understanding of the matter.
However, it does not prosper her forward and frankly, I don’t think that it ever will.
How sad is that?
To conclude: Please don’t get used to your voice disabilities.
Please don’t fall in love with it and with the newfound “lifestyle”. The longer you are in it, the harder it will be to snap out of it.
And if you don’t, it will be a complete waste of your, once precious, life.
I have numerous examples of that happening which I will reiterate to you in my future upcoming blogs.
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